


The Eye of the Storm

by makuramotou



Category: Sangatsu no Lion, ３月のライオン | March Comes in Like A Lion (Manga)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-08-25 11:19:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16660138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makuramotou/pseuds/makuramotou
Summary: •  •  •It was almost impossible for these two to meet outside the matters of Shogi.•  •  •





	1. The Stuck Window ①

**Author's Note:**

> Set after their matches for the Lion King Tournament (am I right with the name?)

Shimada's eyes opened to the strong barraging moonlight from the slightly open window of his slightly old house in that silent part of the neighbourhood. That sliding window always gets stuck somehow, and, as he always does, Shimada stops trying to push it close when he's given it a couple of tries. More efforts go during wintertime and it cooperates, but tonight is not yet winter and the old hardy window let in the night light and the night wind. 

Another factor to his awakening is the warm weight at his back. Lying with his side on the bed, Shimada had to make room for another--

 

another body,

 

a man.

 

'Ahh..!' he puts his palms over his face. 'How did it come to this..?!'

 

The body shifts closer to him, spooning him, strong arms wrap around him.

 

"Are you regretting it?"

 

Voice deep as an unknown sea, low yet strong like the ground trembling on a quiet quake.

 

Gotou-san.

 

 

 

 

 

' ' '

 

 

It was more like an unwelcome surprise when Gotou showed up at his old house's doorstep. Nevermind the 'how did he get here', Shimada wondered 'why is this guy here?'

 

"Let's play Shogi." Gotou said, with his strong voice and fierce aura that seemed to be a natural part of him as natural as people have heads on their neck.

 

Shimada thought it'd be bad if word spreads that he didn't welcome Mr. Masamune Gotou 9-dan to his humble home. It'd be bad! It'd be against him and not against this impromptu intruder.

 

He let the older man in.

 

Gotou even had the gall to nitpick on the house's location, the plainness of its interiors, and every heave of breath that went out from the grey-haired man seemed to say how it shows the owner.

'What? Is it a fault that I like this house its topography its wooden interiors and its plainness is its convenience and don't complain if it lacks the homey feel at your own abode, I'm a bachelor!'

 

Those thoughts didn't come out from Shimada's gritting mouth, but Gotou knew.

 

 

 

 

"...Not bad."

 He finally said. That was the best one could get out of Gotou, from an outsider's point of view. Shimada's thoughts were washed away as though a silent wave took them from the shore. 

 

 

Masamune Gotou. 

 

 

They played with the intensity similar to their matches for the Lion King Tournament.

Gotou won.

It irked Shimada how the things flowed from the moment that Gotou showed up at his doorstep-

 

it was all in Gotou's favor.

 

The long, dreadful day came to an end. 

"See you at the Shogi hall." Shimada said; what he meant was 'don't ever come here again.'

 

 

 

 

 

Just a couple of weeks passed and Gotou showed up again.

With an expensive looking plain white paper bag--whatever Gotou had and held seemed to have value more than what it's worth, Shimada thought with extreme guilt.

He didn't step aside yet to let the older man in, but Gotou held the paper bag towards him. 

 

A cactus. Small white pot. Three great thorny spuds. Tiny red flowers.

 

Shimada froze. Thoughts flooded in a second:

How cute!

My baby will now have a companion!

Where should I put this tiny piece of beauty?

Aaw it's too cute! Kiddo might be thrilled to see this!

What should I secretly name her?

 

 

"Oi."

 

*gokkun* Shimada totally forgot about the giver of the gift.

 

"I'm the visitor, not the plant. Get me a hot cup of coffee."

 

 

Gotou sat on the tatami floor, like a proud head of the patriarch, as Shimada served the coffee. His eyes were staring at the coffee cup. 

On the other hand, Shimada held his bony cheek to his knuckle as he habitually does when thinking. 

'Gotou-san did not ask to play, yet. Why could he be here?'

 

It was too unbelievable that these two were meeting outside the planes of Shogi. Shimada was silent, and Gotou was silent, and the cactus...

 

 

 

 

 

Hours passed. Gotou didn't say anything after he asked for another coffee. Shimada tried to make small talk, but the older man's demeanor told him that he didn't want to. 

 

It was too intense...!--one part of Shimada thought

 

but

 

seeing Gotou-san with brows scrunching and eyes stoned to the tabletop...

 

Shimada thought he was going through a process. 

Shogi?

Woman?

That young woman...? Or...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Uhm," 

Upon hearing the gentle voice, Gotou stopped and turned back; he was just a few steps down from Shimada's doorstep. 

"Thank you for the cactus, Gotou-san."

 

The older man didn't reply, but Shimada knew Gotou's lips moved ever so slightly...

 

 

'Why?'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

' ' ' ' '

 

 

 

 

"I feel like an adulterer..." Shimada sighs. His eyes are clear, they shine with the moonlight. Gotou-san is still embracing him. Bare under the blanket, he feels too warm with the older man's body close to him. His back still has that dull pain, but the embrace gives Shimada the comforting illusion that there is no such pain.

 

He's just staring at the open space of the window--through the glass. The great flood of moonlight. The piece with the silver general's character flashes to mind as he stare at the shining lines of the railing outside.

 

Gotou-san pulls him closer; their contacting skin suddenly feels hotter. 

Shimada's staring at the moonlight on the veranda but his mind sees Gotou's face in the dark room as they were making love earlier. It was his first--being naked in front of someone else, someone else's hands over him, dry lips kissing him, someone inside him--he didn't even know it could be...

 

For Shimada, it was a night of many firsts. It was because of this man. 

 

"She's gone." is all Gotou says, breathing to Shimada's thin hair.

An invisible fist hits the younger man.

 Guilt.

Anger.

Loss.

Anger.

Guilt.

Loss.

Anger.

Loss.

Loss.

 

But Gotou only pulled closer, tighter around Shimada's thin body, never minding how frail the younger frame is.

 

 

"This is not a one-night thing." the low, strong voice said. 

 

Shimada can't see the moonlight now. His palms are covering his eyes, trying to stop them from weeping. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He managed to sleep somehow. He slowly opens his eyes ahead of his alarm. 

Shimada wakes to a view of manly collar bones and toned chest. A heavy arm around his shoulder, and the other muscled arm was his pillow.

He looks at the face of that man. 

Those fiery eyes are closed. He's quietly breathing.

 

'So you can also be like this, huh?' Shimada thought. And thoughts of their talk before he fell asleep while crying flood back to him and sully the gentle, white morning with a spreading black ink...

 

Then the arms around him take him closer to that manly collar bone and stops him from further thinking, guilt-tripping and self-pitying.

 

 Closer.

"Gotou-san--"

And closer.

"..."

 

His forehead with his thin bangs is right beneath the older man's dry lips.

 

 

 

'Masamune...' he thought of the older man's first name.

 

 

 

He quite expected to receive a kiss. He stare at the grey-haired man with his clear, green eyes.

 

The dry lips open, 

 

Shimada expects to hear about coffee, and he hears,

 

"Ohayo."

 

 

 

That deep voice again, swallows his thoughts like a silent wave of an unknown sea reaching the shore, as if the fissure made by the quiet earthquake took away the black shadow inside him.

 


	2. Silent as the First Drop of Rain

*fuooooooo*

 

 

It was a sound. Or it was the absence of a sound.

 

 

*vooooooo*

 

 

The wind was blowing hard that day; there was rain.

I could hear the sounds. Faintly. The wind through the caves of my ears, through my wet clothes. It was cold--

These are all familiar to me. Before, I could only feel the rain when it starts pouring on me. That's the time when I open an umbrella. 

 

But

 

 

'He looks back again.'

 

  

 

That day I was not alone. 

 

 

 

 

 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

 

 

 

 

I look around the entrance of the Shogi Association Hall. It hasn't changed much since the last time that I was here. 

-The tin ash cans, the old vending machines, the clean tiles that were shinier then...-

 

Only the posters and papers on the bulletin board changes.

 

-Papers. On one of them, a name-

 

 

Kiriyama Rei

 

 

"Souya-kun!"

 

"Chairman."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ahh... It's been quite a while since you last visited this old building! How do you find it, huh? This waiting room never got spacier, they just dump more gifts in here everytime--really making it cramped in here!" 

 

I can barely hear a few words. His face looks as if he's ranting about something. 

I don't say anything to him, because he didn't seem to be asking me anything. 

 

"Well. Just shows how fond those ol' folks are, you know? That said... Souya-kun,"

 

He shifts gears and looks straight at me. 

 

"Are you here to see Kiriyama-kun?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He didn't come to the hall. I didn't see him. The evening matches have also ended.

Chairman has also left. I think the staff are also waiting for me to leave.

 

 

 

 

*rise*

 

So I leave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's dark outside. It's been a while since I walked out at nighttime.

 

 

I get to the busier part of the town to hail a taxi, but something warm to drink entice me to sit inside a cafe.

 It's silent inside. I point to their menu and wait at a long table attached to the glass wall facing the street. 

Outside seems busy. But it's silent inside.

 

Silent.

 

Whether my eyes are open or closed... it's the same. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But then I see his small, frail figure--under the umbrella, looking back at me.

 

And I imagine hearing rain...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since when?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I read and solve shogi problems in this small pocketbook. The coffee, I remember only now, has been served and is now lukewarm. 

 

 

For just a second, my eyes look away from the page

In that second my eyes went outside

Outside my eyes see Kiriyama-kun. 

 

 

'Kiri-'

 

 

A girl. Bob cut. 

 

They look...happy. 

 

 

Ah, yes.

 

 Kiriyama-kun is a student.

 

 

 

What am I thinking, going so far as standing from my seat at the sight of a highschooler...

 

Far.

 

They're standing by a shop across the street. An ice cream parlor.

 

They're too far from here.

 

'He's...laughing.'

 

 

 

 

 

               I wonder....

 

 

 

 

Recoil.

 

-page...which page was it?-

 

 

 

Retreat.

 

 

-retreat the rook, defend the king with the silver general...defend-

 

-No. My king will get checked in the tenth turn.-  

 

 

 

 

Glance

 

 

 

There's no use.

 

 

 

 

 

Giving up, I close my eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What am I doing

 

 

I should leave. What am I waiting here for

 

Kiriyama-kun and the girl already left. My watch must be moving too fast. It's already been quarter to an hour since. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do I suddenly remember

 

Back then, on that snowy day when he stood alone at the front of the Shogi Hall. His young, innocent face...his wide eyes stared at me. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that day, at the garden. There was a small shower. 

 

 

 

 

And that other day...

That time it was rain that fell from the sky, as if the heavens always mean to pour down anything whenever we meet.

 

Why, I wonder

 

 

At first I thought it's because we're both shogi players but--

 

 

That match

 

 

No,

 

 

More than that,

 

 

 

I was taken by his kindness--

 

 

 

 

*fwomp*

 

"..?"

"Uah!"

 

As I exit the cafe I collide with someone-- someone smaller, I think I hit their head--

 

I look at the person, and notice the familiar black hair--

 

 

'I can't believe it...' 

 

 

 

"Ah, ano... Souya-san--"

 

 

Kiriyama-kun.

 

He's holding the metal body of an umbrella--I didn't notice that I was also under its canopy-

 

His breathing seems rushed. He's red. Out of breath

 

 

"I... I saw you inside the cafe some while ago-- but then it rained and I thought-- ah! e..to.. uhm, iya- ah....how do I say this? That said-- ano.. I thought..."

 

He's fidgety. He's pointing here and there. Hunching. Is he flustered?

 

I grab his hand holding the umbrella and hold it so that we both get protection from rain; he leaned it too much to me, that I think his back must be wet. 

 

 

His hand is warm

but trembling

and wet.

 

And, oh. 

 

 

It is raining. 

 

 

 

"Souya-san,"

 

 

I wonder

 

 

 

"I only have this one umbrella, but if you don't mind..."

 

Cramped under this single umbrella, in my ears there're imaginary sounds. The dropping sounds of rain hitting our small umbrella. Kiriyama-kun is so close, with my eyes looking down I can only see his lower face, his neck and below.

 

 

And I wonder

 

 

"Thank you."

 

 

 

           What is this feeling called?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays folks.


	3. The Stuck Window ②

 

 

"Shimada-san, I'm coming in!" 

Kiriyama took it to himself to look after Shimada even after the time when they toured for the matches against Souya-meijin. His caring nature even got the chairman's attention, calling him a 'certified mother' on certain occasions. 

On his free days, the young player comes to the old clubhouse-slash-Shimada's residence just to clean up a bit and to make sure that his senpai is eating well--Shimada has a condition anyway, and going through the day without eating anything is a big, big NO especially to Kiriyama. 

 

He already noticed the new potted cactus. Thought it was cute and smiled as his eyes wandered to the two little pots placed side by side. Moving on, he wipes the tabletop and notices an odd clump of a black thing just under the table. 

Kiriyama picks it up.

"A sock?"

 

 

Just as Kiriyama's staring at the odd, singular sock, Shimada enters the room.

"Ah, Kiriyama...thanks, and sorry for the trouble--"

"Shimada-san, this..."

 

The older man gasps in horror, and turns full red from the face to the tips of his ears--his stomach aches and feels like it turned 367° inside his belly. 

He snatches it on impulse; squeezes the plush sock as he grits his teeth and shuts his eyes tight

"T-this is--- well, an old man that I know must have kind of left it here! Heh-heeh... Old people, you know..."

"E-eh? That much reaction over a sock?" Kiriyama wonders out loud but to himself. 

 

 

 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

 

 

Well, there's still some guilt when Shimada thinks about it. 

Kiriyama is a precious part of their workshop, and the boy seemed to be not in good terms with Gotou--who, in some odd and whirlwind kind of fashion, become someone Shimada's been 'seeing'.

 

 

...and, of course, Gotou used to see Kiriyama's step-sister. 

 

 

 

When Shimada thinks about it, everything around seems to stop--and only his mind runs tired of thinking. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Uhm, Shimada-san,"

Smith taps him, waking him up from that unwanted trance-like state.

"Maybe you need some rest. Why don't you go home; you have no matches up this whole week anyway." the blonde man says.

"Rest, huh?...Haaah... even when you say that..." 

 

 

Gotou's been wearing him out almost every other day. Shimada swears to be more assertive in saying 'no'.

 

 

And the sock. That sock!

 

 

Just remembering makes Shimada's face and neck burn in shame.

"Ugh!! That old man!" he says under his breath

 

 

 

"But you know," Smith adds. Shimada turns to look at him

"You kinda look healthier nowadays, Shimada-san!"

 

 

 

 

 

~~-~~

 

 

 

"Ah. So I left it here." the gray-haired man says flatly. He's hanging around Shimada's house more often, and most of the time the visits are not to play shogi. 

 

'Really...at this hour of the night--'

Shimada serves the coffee while his visitor folds the black sock and sets it beside him on the floor. 

 

"Please be mindful next time when you... ahem..." Shimada's cheeks flush and tries not to choke on his words, "where you leave your clothes, Gotou-san. It was Kiriyama who found that this morning."

 

 

"Oh, yes. That brat's a part of your so-called workshop." Gotou's words are followed with a cheeky "Heh."

 

"Please... He's still a kid. And also, he's an important part of the workshop and more than that he helps me in keeping my health in check."

 

The way Gotou rashly picks up the mug and slurps loudly his coffee means so many words at once to the younger man.

 

"...and I wouldn't really want to say this, but I hope you'll clear up the trifle you've had with Kiriyama."

 

"What?!" the mug's bottom hits the table quite hard and thankfully it didn't get smashed neither gets cracked.

 

Shimada stays calm and tries his best to keep things low. By now he knows that it's really just in Gotou's nature to be rash in some ways.

 

"What 'what'? If you value what we have right now, Gotou-san, maybe you'll also value the fact that Kiriyama is an indispensable part of the workshop that I am also a part of, and that I value my connection with him as my underclassman. I'm just not ready to tell him yet about us when certainly there's something you have to settle between the two of you." 

 

 

 

Silence. There's a thin film of tension in the air. Shimada knows himself that he doesn't regret saying those words, but he feels a little uncertain about its effect on the older man. 

 

Tired.

 

He's just so tired the whole day for some reason.

 

 

 

 

"Let's play." Gotou says, as if saying

'I'll take your point if you win'.

 

 

"Uhm, Gotou-san, if you don't mind... Can we just play shogi at some other time?"

 

Shimada's eyes are trying hard to stay open. He's just really physically and mentally tired.

 

"I kind of want to go to sleep..." he adds.

 

 

Gotou looks at him. Eyes perpetually stern.

Blue to green.

 

 

 

 

 

~staaaaare~

 

 

 

 

 

Shimada's eyes harness a new power and the sleepiness slowly becomes suppressed

 

*gulp

'I know that look...! W-what will he say??'

 

 

*shff--

The older man slides loose his tie and unbuttons his shirt

 

 

"Is that so?" the deep voice answers 

 

 

While Shimada can only pray that Gotou will not ask to have another 'honeymoon night' his eyes shut tight and he clearly hears the rustling of clothes leaving Gotou's body.

 

 

 

 

"Oi, what are you doing?"

 

 

'Huh?'

 

 

Shimada slowly opens his eyes, looks up, and sees Gotou looming above him-- in white t-shirt and black pants still on.

 

"Let's go to bed and sleep." The older man says to him.

 

 

 

"Y-yes." he says under his breath.

 

An untold relief washes away the weight on Shimada's chest, and he reaches for Gotou's extended hand to pull him up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They lay side by side. 

Gotou's pretty much asleep on the second futon.

 

But suddenly Shimada's eyes stay glued to the ceiling, 

his head comfortable on the small pillow, his body warm under the blanket... his mind tired...

and now he can't sleep. 

 

 

He's usually up and thinking like this when he supposes that the gray-haired man beside him is already in dreamland. There are many thoughts to keep him up, after all.

It's like a more relaxed version of thinking when he's laying on his bed. But the answers to the questions in his head almost always never come.

 

The hardest of them is 'until when will this nameless thing last, I wonder?'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One afternoon, Kiriyama comes to workshop but with an obviously different aura in him. 

 

He seems...

baffled...?

afloat?

Kind of like...dejected a little bit..?

 

Shimada thought and the rest notice this, but they don't ask as Kiriyama tries to perk up and asks them to start playing. 

 

 

 

When the others leave, Kiriyama helps in tidying up what he could. At this point, Shimada can't help but really ask.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I know this is totally unrelated to you, Shimada-san, but..."

 

Shimada waits patiently with his knuckles to his cheek while his elbow rests on his knee. He remembers what he and Gotou talked about some days ago.

 

 

 

 

"Gotou-san talked to my father."

 

 

 

 

and Shimada's eyes widened.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~-~-~--~-~-~

 

 

 

_Kiriyama remembers it all well_

 

_Like it wasn't coincidence that he visited his foster parents on the same day as Gotou._

 

 

 

_Gotou bowed in front of them_

_not as extreme in a dogeza,_

_but a sincere bow._

 

_His back, posture, everything in him..._

 

 

 

_He apologized for what pain or inconveniences his acquaintance with their daughter caused._

 

_Words were exchanged. Calmly. Between two adult men._

 

 

 

 

_He didn't say anything exactly apologetic to Kiriyama, but before he left he looked at the kid and said:_

_"Thanks for looking after Shimada."_

 

 

 

 

~-~-~-~

 

 

 

 

 

"Now I only have one more wish..." Shimada murmurs 

 

 

Gotou flips to the next page of the evening newspaper 

"Hng? What did you say?" 

 

"Say, Gotou-san, are you free this weekend? I want to go somewhere..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*'*'*

 

 

 

Her grave.

 

 

 

 

Shimada takes his time in praying--talking to her. A few steps behind him Gotou stands by; the bouquet they brought already offered. 

 

Instead of the smell of the lit incense, the morning air of a Sunday fills Gotou's lungs. 

 

 

 

When he was through, Shimada looks at the gravestone as if it were really a beautiful woman's face.

"Well then, until next time." He says with clear eyes and a humble smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

~-~-~-~-~

 

 

 

 

 

They unanimously go to Shimada's house after. The younger man helps Gotou off his coat and moves about to find a hanger and places it on the rack. It's a new habit that Shimada's forming, but Gotou is getting used to being pampered like this.

 

 

"I'll open the windows." Gotou says while Shimada is still hanging his own pair of suit.

"Ah, yes, please. Then, let me get you some coffee." 

 

 

It's just another pair of feet brushing against the tatami floor... but for Shimada, it's a very comfortable sound and his once too silent house has become quite livelier because of a certain old guy who just barged into his life circle, after circle, and after circle.

 

 

He comes back with coffee and tea on tray, and sees the back of that old guy framed by the fully opened windows. The room has become engulfed by the sunny afternoon light.

 

"Heeh? You opened even that stuck one that won't budge?" 

"Hm? Mm."

 

Gotou reaches for the mug of coffee, not knowing how Shimada feels right at that moment; two of his wishes were granted (which he used as signs if he should continue their then 'nameless relationship'), and his stuck window has opened all because of one man that won't ever voice out such words like 'I love you'.

 

 

 

"Hey," Gotou invites him closer to the window sill, with an extending arm that goes around him when he gets near.

 

"What, you're being odd, Gotou-san." Shimada manages to say despite feeling something fluttering inside. The tips of his ears feel tingly like he knows what's going to happen next. 

 

 

 

 

 

Except he didn't.

 

 

 

 

 

*ton*

The mug meets the surface of the sill,

 

 

 

*shff

Closer.

 

Face to face,

 

Gotou leans his forehead to Shimada's, rests on it

 

and with a sigh and the strong smell of coffee, Gotou says

 

"Thank you."

 

 

 

 

 

They were different words, but Shimada feels like his third wish just came true.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope they didn't appear ooc because I really tried not to make them so. Haha ^^ thanks for sticking around.
> 
> Now I have other fics to write xD Finished this before my other fics and I'm so guilty but at the same time quite happy. 
> 
> so long!
> 
> *no promises but I wanna make a Souya/Kiriyama epilogue. haha xD

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are welcome. (I like them together so here you go, me.)


End file.
